A child should never fear their parents. I, however, am just plain terrified of my biological father. Well, mostly his wife, but I still fear speaking to him.
A lot of shit happened in the short time I knew my father.
I met him shortly after I turned 20 and having not known his last name.
I was at home with my adoptive parents when I still lived with them, digging through a drawer trying to find something when I came across some old papers from my adoption. I poured over those papers like my life depended on it, devouring every bit of information.
I made a call to my biological mom, asked a few questions, posted an ad on craigslist and about 2 weeks later, he was standing in my driveway.
A few months later, shit hit the fan. Hateful, hurtful words were exchanged and that was it. Hasn't talked to me since. His wife has though. More hurtful words, threats and a massive fuck off.
Doesn't stop me from missing him though. However, I'm still scared to talk to him.
Parents, never make your child fear you or allow your spouse to make them fear you. It ruins trust and any relationship building for the future. Don't push away your children as they get older. Be respectfully involved in their adult lives. Always listen objectively, love unconditionally and advise wisely. Trust me - as someone's kid who's lived through the opposite, your kids will thank you for it one day.
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