So yesterday I spent a little time talking with my fiance about some feelings I've been having regarding my families and I gotta tell you - I haven't cried that hard in a long ass time! I'm not saying that talking about it magically fixed the hurts and restentment I hold toward my parents, but it did help just to get it off my chest.
I started thinking about the sources of the various negative feelings I have toward them - you know, where it all started. I pin-pointed a few of them and I have to say a lot of it stems from unkept promises and bigotry.
Of all my pet peevs I have, disrespect is a big one. And to me, not keeping promises or saying one thing and doing another fall into that category. Nothing pisses me off more.
A lot of times, throughout my life, there has been a shit ton of finger pointing and blame laying on both sides of every argument. Including, but not limited to pointing out a fault or failure in someone else that directly reflects a failure or fault in the person pointing the finger.
Hello pot, it's kettle. I was just calling to tell you you're black.
I'm most definately not immune to having done that. It's like trying to point out similarities in an effort to "level the playing field" during an argument. As a young teen, I was particularly vicious with that and still am sometimes.
It just really burns my biscuits when one side just wants to discuss the issue calmly and the other side escalates things.
At any rate, my point was supposed to be "don't be so quick to point a finger at someone when you've done the same fucking thing". And talking things out helps but won't fix shit magically.
I completely lost my train of thought.
Fuck it.
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