Infertility Blows.

Words can't describe it really. Just saying "infertility blows" really doesn't encompass the emotional rollercoaster it is.

As a woman, I have reached the point in my life where I have (for once in my life) actually sort of followed protocol. Aside from the whole graduate highschool thing, I waited until later in my adult life to start trying (adult life begining at 18).
I'm 22, engaged, have a somewhat stable household income, have matured (kind of), and have made the decision with my partner that we, as individuals and as a couple, are ready/want children.

For the past 2 years I've watched friends, family and old highschool classmates pop out children. Some at what I consider a rediculously young age or under what I personally consider to be inauspicious circumstances. All the while, struggling to muster up enough piss and fighting the wrapper of the next foreboding pregnancy test.

In my mind, it really is one big, fat, sorrofully jelous "WHAT THE FUCK!!"

I can't begin to estimate how much time, money, effort, planning and prayer I have put into trying to get fucking knocked up! It's terribly upsetting! I mean, here I am, trying with all I've got to get pregnant and these other girls are all a bunch of flippin' fertile myrtles!

It's an ongoing process... A tiring, emotionally draining kind of 'fuck my life' process. But, if you're in the same boat, don't give up. Try all the avenues - fertility testing being a BIG one. Kinda helps to have a map instead of just a compass ;)

Breathe deep. Keep trying. After all... Trying is the fun part.. Right?

Pictures courtesy of a friend - Eathyn 4mos.